Cheese!

6/4/09

I was at the movies and there was an advertisement for the theatre/please turn off your phone and shut the hell up message. The woman, a burnette (just the way I like em), delivers the slogan and on goes a few edits about the theatre. Upon the last syllable, she delivers one of the most fake smiles I could ever hope to see. It was like a gawdy bow on a present. Sure you know what it's there for: a forgettable signal that there's something underneath that bow that's supposed to be special (admit it, you've gotten presents that you were not exactly thrilled about, I digress). If you've read any of my blogs or know me, you know that something as excusable to the layman/laywoman/layperson/laybeing will drive me even more bonkers that I already am. I mean, shit!!! I'm fucking writing a blog about it and I don't write. Back to the matter at hand, I can't stop thinking about how much of a silly contrived attempt at a smile that was, no matter how many times I've seen it. Here we go now....

Now I begin to consider what is a smile really. The dicktionary defination of a smile is an upward curvature of the mouth used to express approval, happiness, cheerfulness, favor or amusement. That's a mouthful concerning something you do with your mouth. There's also several types of smiles. The full on cheesy grin, the open mouth laugh, the half smile, the afore mentioned fake smile, the sadistic supervillain joker grin, the i'm your friend used car salesman grin, the closed mouth cheek lifter, etc. Hell, have you counted all the emoticon smiles you have in your IM client of choice? Also, did you ever think that they eyes have more to do with the smile than the mouth that's actually doing the smiling?

Now I begin to think of why we smile. We smile for so many things but all to do one thing, to show happy, favorable emotion. But if that's the case, why is it that how we smile really determines what emotion we are trying to state. This subjectivity astounds and bemuses me. I could on and on and on in a conversation of any number of topics and I could be saying nothing in the process; however, I can smile and I would being saying more than with words, pictures, or other gestures. It's no wonder why billions are spent every year to create or enhance a great smile.

The hard part seems to be finding a real smile. You all remember posing for school pictures and you are asked to smile. That smile is used to indicate favorable emotion, but when has anyone ever been actually happy taking those photos. Out of all the photos that I can think of that I have been a part of (which is a real trick. seriously, photos of me are rare), only a scarce show me in a moment of total happiness. I have a photo with Esthero where I'm grinning as if my life depended on it. I guess the Aisha Tyler picture after her Vortex show counts too (perhaps I'll put it up here). But seriously, it's kind of weird to act happy on cue for up to 5 seconds so that moment can be captured. It's truly special when you're smiling because you're happy and some captures it but you continue to smile afterwards. I guess the best smiles are like the most effective actions because they are so effective it's as if you haven't done anything at all.